McCLAREN: Names, positions and clubs?
LAMPARD: I'm Frank Lampard. This is Joe Cole. He's a forward. I'm a midfielder. We play for Chelsea.
McCLAREN (Eying them suspiciously): And what makes you think you should be in my Team of the Week?
LAMPARD (Nodding towards the strange looking man beside him): He should be in because he scored our fourth goal against Blackburn. Generally, he was superb. (He pauses for long enough for a slimy smile to spread across his face, which looks oddly like the surface of the Moon.) I should be in, because I'm the best midfielder in the world.
McCLAREN: Who told you that?
LAMPARD: My manager.
McCLAREN: Well, he would say that, wouldn't he.
LAMPARD: He's The Special One.
MCLAREN: Rubbish. He's a minor talent with a major gift for self-hype.
LAMPARD: I'm Frank Lampard. This is Joe Cole. He's a forward. I'm a midfielder. We play for Chelsea.
McCLAREN (Eying them suspiciously): And what makes you think you should be in my Team of the Week?
LAMPARD (Nodding towards the strange looking man beside him): He should be in because he scored our fourth goal against Blackburn. Generally, he was superb. (He pauses for long enough for a slimy smile to spread across his face, which looks oddly like the surface of the Moon.) I should be in, because I'm the best midfielder in the world.
McCLAREN: Who told you that?
LAMPARD: My manager.
McCLAREN: Well, he would say that, wouldn't he.
LAMPARD: He's The Special One.
MCLAREN: Rubbish. He's a minor talent with a major gift for self-hype.
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