McCLAREN: Names, positions and clubs?

LAMPARD: I'm Frank Lampard. This is Joe Cole. He's a forward. I'm a midfielder. We play for Chelsea.

McCLAREN (Eying them suspiciously): And what makes you think you should be in my Team of the Week?

LAMPARD (Nodding towards the strange looking man beside him): He should be in because he scored our fourth goal against Blackburn. Generally, he was superb. (He pauses for long enough for a slimy smile to spread across his face, which looks oddly like the surface of the Moon.) I should be in, because I'm the best midfielder in the world.

McCLAREN: Who told you that?
LAMPARD: My manager.
McCLAREN: Well, he would say that, wouldn't he.

LAMPARD: He's The Special One.
MCLAREN: Rubbish. He's a minor talent with a major gift for self-hype.

Barclays Capital Campus Recruitment
Status of Application: Invitation to verbal reasoning test

Congratulations! You have reached the required standard in the numerical reasoning test. You are now invited to complete the verbal reasoning test.

Again, you must follow the instructions carefully and complete the verbal reasoning test within the 5 days stipulated in the earlier e-mail where you were invited to take the numerical test.

Barclays Capital Campus Recruitment
Status of Application: Invitation to numerical reasoning test

Thank you for applying to the Barclays Capital Campus Recruitment Programme.

This stage of the recruitment process involves testing. Firstly, you are required to complete a numerical reasoning test. If you are successful in the numerical test, you will then be invited to complete a verbal reasoning test.